Sixteen years ago I was a new Catholic with young children. I sought the advice of a local Catholic mom who has a very large family. Her children were mostly grown up and all remained strong in the faith. I asked her, “What is your best parenting advice?” She smiled and said, “Pray for the future spouses of your children.” I thanked her but thought, “Really? That’s it?” as I stood there feeling overwhelmed like so many young moms.
Nevertheless, my husband and I took her advice, so if any of our children are blessed to be married to yours someday, know that we will have been praying for them for most of their lives! The benefit of this prayer to future family members (or to the Church in cases of religious vocations) is obvious, but there are also less evident benefits. This is one of three easy ways to be a spiritually proactive parent.
Praying for future spouses Praying for future spouses reminds you to pray for your immediate family. Something feels off if you aren’t also praying for your own spouse and children. Another benefit is that when children pray it, it reminds and encourages them to prepare for their future vocation. When prayed daily, it puts the concept of a holy marriage onto one’s lips on a regular basis, acting against Satan’s efforts to eliminate that concept from our vocabulary.
This simple prayer is an easy way for any parent and child, no matter how distracted or stressed, to be proactive, hopeful, and to bless their own family, the greater Church, and the world.
Our children range from a college student to an infant with many in between. I believe that being spiritually proactive is essential to raising Catholic children.
Give extravagant affection When it comes to sharing faith, relationships are everything. The importance of extravagant affection in raising children was mentioned in the February 2021 New Earth by Gregory Popcek. I agree strongly with him. His message reminds me of a story I heard of a person visiting Italy who witnessed a father showering his young child with affection. He was kissing the child repeatedly and shamelessly, just full of love. It was a beautiful image of God’s love to the observer.
Dr. Popcek wrote that only 7% of children receive the affection they need to thrive. So for most of us, there’s no harm finding ways to add a little more affection. God in his mercy has given us the ability to share his love with others through simple glances, words, and gestures. They only take a moment, cost nothing, and open our children’s hearts to us sharing our beautiful faith with them.
Expressing extravagant affection towards children seems unthinkable when we're exhausted or upset, but with God’s grace it’s possible. So many times I have had to “fake it ‘till I make it” with this one, but it’s worth it because it’s extremely powerful.
Go to adoration We’re called to go beyond the precepts of the Church, and children give us extra motivation to do this. How important does our faith appear to them if we just do the basics? One of the most impactful ways to go beyond the precepts is to take them to adoration. Children remember experiences.
It might sound crazy or impossible but consider the convenience. You can go to adoration for any length of time and with any aged child. You can cater the experience to your child beyond saying prayers. They may prefer coloring pictures or drawing, or getting a “tour,” or being read to, or cuddling. If you do parent-child nights out, going to adoration can be a part of that.
If your children get disruptive, you can take them out. In fact, you can just plan on that in the beginning. You can offer a reward like a Popsicle or a trip to the playground for going or staying quiet for a while.
Being proactive can be easy In Proverbs 27:23-24, King Solomon reminds us to “Take good care of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not last forever; nor even a crown from age to age.” What a grave reminder. We and our children may be in a good place spiritually right now, but it’s wise to plan ahead. Praying for your children’s future spouse, giving extravagant affection, and going to adoration are three easy ways to proactively counter spiritual afflictions that are bound to come.